is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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