More tranny stories later!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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