They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
