Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize