All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
