I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You can't special order awesome
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
