she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
