Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
