So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize