he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
