my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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