sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
