She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
why is half of my head shaved?
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