I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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