I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
