there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
