I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
