Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
