Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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