can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
