i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
