hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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