well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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