Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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