the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
