everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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