The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
