my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
