Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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