on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
