just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
