I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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