Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
