so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
