Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
