Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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