Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
