Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
This toilet bowl is my home.
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