I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
