I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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