If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
