Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
