Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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