Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
