I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
