Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
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I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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