I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
