KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
