I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize