And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize