can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
