You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
