Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
