the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
