Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
