If that was your dad, he is hot
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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