Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am puke
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
