i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
