like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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