Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
