First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
